TGIF

So glad it’s Friday. It’s been an unusual week for me, and I prefer my quietude and routine!

That’s ironic.

Not so long ago, my life was crazy wild and too, too busy. And not so much in a good way. I spent all my time and energy doing everything I thought I needed to for everyone else, and I didn’t know it should be any other way. Some of it I needed to do as a mother, and I don’t regret nor resent those efforts. I suppose some of it was necessary as a wife, too. I no doubt overdid some in that wifely role. As a minister’s wife, I always claimed I defined that role for myself (very liberated!), and took on only what I choose for myself to do. Unfortunately, I had no healthy boundaries, and that leads to unhealthy choices. So mother of 3 daughters, plus working full time, plus doing the minister’s wife thing, plus being a wife the only way I knew added up to no time for me, except for an occasional soak in the tub, behind a closed door. Then again, I didn’t know there was suppose to time for me. I felt guilty about taking time for me. I was all about giving myself and time and energy to others. Until there was nothing left, except resentment and anger when no one seemed to appreciate my sacrifices.

Not anymore. I choose what I do, then I do it gladly. Like helping the Only Step-Son. Or taking food to the recovering Middle Daughter tonight! Or the Youngest Daughter with her sewing. And I take time for myself without guilt (mostly!). No more over committing. When I took a position on a service board, I gave up hand bells. Would have been easy to be involved in both, but I knew where that would lead me. This is one lesson I have learned.

So we are closing on the end of January. It has been bitter cold this past week, and even though this weekend will be unseasonably warm, the wind will blow. It won’t be enjoyable for me to be out. With the end of this month, then the short month of February, and a trip scheduled for the end, March will soon be here, and March is almost spring! (in a snowy kind of a high altitude way.) I might be rushing time, but I am getting cabin fever, itching to garden, itching to hike, itching to ride my bike.