Random Firings

I am feeling scattered today, and trying figure out where my serenity has gone.

A friend helped me with the spinning yesterday, and suggested using some 'practice wool' rather the 75/25 wool/silk I purchased with the spindle when I signed up for the class. Now I wonder why the lys employee didn't point me to that basket on the floor, instead of the shelf with the pretty and expensive bundles? Anyway, as is my habit when learning something new that doesn't come easy, I am feeling unsettled about not doing it.....well. I watched my friend, during my remedial lesson, and it came so effortlessly to her. I want to be her! My co-worker, with whom I am taking the class, I suspect is spinning better than me, and that strikes at the core of my competitive spirit. So I am determined, more than ever, to learn this new skill, and to learn it well, and to learn it well with the drop spindle. If. It. Kills. Me.

In the meantime, other things lay unattended.

I have a room of scrapbooking supplies, with new stamps received for Christmas, laying untested. Scrapbooking is one of those things I learned, picked up, and flew with. There isn't so much more to it for me. And it's more than the guilt of feeling like I should be doing something with all those supplies. I want to have a hands-on record of some parts of my life. I think the challenge there this year could be in the photo editing part. Yeah...maybe that's the ticket.

And there is a leftover goal for this year. The photoediting program I got for my birthday last year lies unlearned. I have played some with it, but the depths of the program are unmined. I have a fun camera, and the editing program is a good one. It just takes time. And knowledge. Sometimes when I am reading the manuals I overload pretty quickly. Just makes me more determined. (See above 'drop spindle')

I am knitting a hat without enough yarn to finish. I am about ready to start the decreases, and am debating what to do. I have a another bit of nice leftover yarn that will probably finish it up (definitely different colors), but the question I ask myself is....'why'? Why, when I have lots of other yarn that I would not have to make piecemeal with, do I insist on using up a partial skein? I know why. I am my mother's daughter, and can't see almost a whole skein of very nice wool/silk blend not be something useful. (Same reason I keep scraps and pieces of scrapbook paper & card stock, I suppose.) Maybe I should frog the hat and make it smaller for the Grand Bebe. There would probably be enough for that. Her 1st birthday is coming up, and I was beginning to think of an appropriate handmade article.

After 3 tries, I believe I may have successfully installed a sitecounter. Of course, I won't know for another 24 hours! No help from anyone either. I won't ask for help. I will lurk and read anonymously. I will seek out the help and FAQ sections. But to put myself out there, with my name and face to ask a question? Shock horror! There might be judgment. That's one conclusion I have come to with the help of my program over the last several years. So I still fear judgment. At least I know what my fear is! Anyway, I think I might have figured out the counter, and now I can see for sure that no one is reading what I write. I will be equally disappointed (because secretly down deep, I want be discovered!), and freed (to write what I want without fear that anyone is reading any of my tripe!).

I haven't told anyone of this blog, and that is ok for now. However, I must tell Wonderful Guy soon. The foundation of our relationship is true openness and honesty, and I won't hide things from him intentionally. I will wait a bit longer until I figure a bit more of it out, so I can answer the questions I know he will have. And until I have it looking nice, and working smoothly. And until I figure out if this is even something that is going to last past Valentine's Day (which we are going to celebrate at the Melting Pot!). So when???? This might be a Big part of the scattered serenity thing. Really.