A Goal of 100 Miles

Lake Helene, at the base of Notchtop, first hike of Labor Day Weekend, 2002

The year of the Dee-vorce, I set a goal to cover 100 miles hiking that spring/summer/fall. I got a pretty good start on that, but then a series of circumstances slowed me down, ranging from travel to a whopping virus to the X finally moving out (another story for another post). Come Labor Day weekend, I had only totaled up 60-some miles.

The divorce recovery group in which I had participated the previous winter had continued to get together for dinners, birthdays, hiking, skiing, keeping up with each other and sharing experiences. One of the group held a birthday get-together Friday of that Labor Day weekend, and I announced to the group, that if any were interested, I was going to be hiking all three days, in an effort to rack up more miles toward my goal of 100. I told them where I was going, and when I would be leaving from my house.

Next morning, the only one who showed up was Wonderful Guy. (He was seeing someone else at the time, but she was working on some consulting projects on the weekends, and not really a hiker.) So off we went. All three days. We had shared a lot previously of our personal stories as part of the group, and knew each other’s background and history. Our stories had much in common in, which allowed us to understand what the other was talking about in very clear ways. We walked and talked and took photos, and we joked, then we talked some more. And we laughed together with each other. Finally laughing again. That felt good.

The weather continued to be dry and clear, and I wanted to get in more miles. His friend was still working on weekends, so he hiked with me over the next few weekends, too. We were already good friends, as only people get when they have shared some of the worst times of their lives. And we became closer friends. I decided I would tell him of my first venture back into the ‘dating world’. Yes, I had a blind ‘coffee’ date set up, but hadn’t told anyone. I was very apprehensive this first time out. Wonderful Guy told me how for his first ‘coffee date’, they had ended up at different coffee shops on opposite sides of town, and what an opportunity for growth that was! I was horrified!

Well. Guess what happened to me? Yep. Same thing. I was glad I had shared with someone and it was good it was with Wonderful Guy. Eventually, it was a comfort...

Then this other person he was seeing decided that she wanted something different, and our hikes together became even more of a time of sharing and learning, and it was mostly me doing the learning from Wonderful Guy. His insights on compassion and healing and unconditionally loving were mighty astounding. (He said he learned things from me, too, but..yeah..you know…whatever…)

We hiked every weekend day through September. The jackets and warmer clothing came out and we hiked into October. The 100 mile mark came and went. 125…130…150… we were still walking and talking…and sharing a dinner here and there…and a motorcycle ride or two, to be truthful.

Pretty soon we came to the conclusion that we were enjoying each other’s company way more than anyone else’s that we were having coffee with, or dancing with, or sharing nachos and margs with. What we were sharing with each other was way easier than figuring out ‘dating’ all over again at our age.

Or maybe what we were sharing with each other was just the best way ever to build a relationship…with a foundation of honesty, of friendship, and of acceptance for who the other person simply is.

Here we are, coming up on six and a half years of friendship, learning about each other, letting each other be themselves, and accepting that for what it is.

And hiking…always hiking!